New Paradigm + Christian Vision + Parish Strategies + Internet Sites

Parents are the primary teachers of Christian and social virtues to their children. Supporting new parents helps build up the church and continues its mission of bringing the gospel to a new generation.

 Shifting the Parenting Paradigm

At the beginning of the twenty-first century, the household pattern of one working parent and one parent at home has largely been replaced by couples who both work outside the home. There are also more single parents and two-parent blended families than ever before. As the parenting paradigm has shifted, it is unclear to many how to balance the requirements of family and career effectively.  

Another shift has come at the parish level.  In years past, the parish was much more central to the social and daily lives of families than it is now.  Religious education was largely handled by the parish.   Today, families are less involved in the parish and more actively living their role as the church in the modern world.  Parents must take more  responsibility for religious formation of children and need the support of parishes who are in tune with the schedules, needs and diversity of modern families.  The parish serves as catalyst and coach for Christian parents and stepparents.  Creative new approaches are needed to form a mutual partnership between families and parishes.

A Christian Vision of Parenting

The Catholic Church has a rich, inclusive vision of family life and the role of parents. Three foundational documents over the last generation have articulated this vision. They include The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World (Pope John Paul II, 1981), A Family Perspective in Church and Society (NCCB, 1988), and Follow the Way of Love (NCCB, 1994).  Key principles emerge from these documents about the Christian vision of parenting:

     *  the divine origin of marriage and family life

*  the equality and mutuality of husband and wife

*  the place of the family as the primary community of faith, the domestic church

*  the essential connection among love, marriage, and children

*  the role of the family as the basic cell of society and of the church

*  the central role of parents as the primary educators of children

*   the love of parents for each other and for their children as the foundation of all education and formation of the family in Christian values and social virtues

*  the family as key to the new evangelization to transform the modern world

*  the importance of family prayer

*  a pledge of support for all families by the church

 These principles are organized into four elements of a Christian vision for families:

1. The family forms an intimate community of life and love.

2. The family serves life (procreation and education).

3. The family participates in the development of society.

4. The family shares in the life and mission of the church.

 Families are called to live consciously their Christian vocation, to grow spiritually, and to become the heart of the new evangelization. Through the sacraments, each family comes to live an authentic Christian existence.

 Many couples approach marriage and parenthood in a tentative way because of the wreckage of families caused by divorce and a culture that is ambivalent about the value of marriage, family, and parenting. The church prophetically challenges a society focused on self-fulfillment by calling families to be prophets in living a mutually self-giving lifestyle.

 Parish Strategies

All parishes can find ways to support parents. Every effort should begin by acknowledging the needs of families and should avoid placing undue burdens on families who are already too busy in other areas of their life.

 During Marriage Preparation

*  Talk to engaged couples about the vocation of parenting.

*  Include a special session to discuss issues related to dual careers and the need to share parenting and household tasks as expressions of covenant love.

*  Encourage the couple to think long-term about their life together.

*  Talk to parents of engaged couples about the importance of their ongoing         support and example for the couple after marriage.

* Discuss with parents how their role will change toward their son/daughter after marriage.

*  Discuss the special challenges involved in stepparenting and blended families for those entering a second marriage.

 For Newly Married Couples

*  At Baptism preparation, focus on the "church of the home." Have young couples hear from experienced parents who can share Christian parenting skills

*  Ask new parents "How can the parish support you ?"

*   In homilies illustrate the successes and struggles of parents; preach about the  vision and importance of family life.

*  Pray for families, in petitions and blessings, on traditional days like Fathers' Day and Mothers' Day, and other times, such as blessing parents "the first and best teachers" along with catechists on Catechetical Sunday.

*  Offer parenting skills training in your parish each year.

*  Gather parents for mutual support; help parents form small groups.

*  Promote the Christian Family Movement in your area.

*  Publish helpful internet sites for parents in your parish bulletin.

(e.g., www.family.org; www.stepfamily.org; www.parentsplace.com; www.parentstv.com)

Strategies like these extend beyond the work that is done with engaged and newly married couples. Developing a comprehensive pastoral care of the family is basic to the mission of the church. Marriage preparation and early marriage offer opportune times to establish a partnership between parish and families that will benefit both for a lifetime.