|
BULLETIN ARTICLES
DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE
is a pattern of coercive behaviors perpetrated by one person with the
goal of establishing power and control over the victim.
The coercive behaviors may include physical abuse, psychological
abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, progressive social isolation,
economic deprivation and intimidation. (FBI and Ohio Medical
Association definition.) ------------------------ DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE:
The U.S. Bishops have strongly and clearly stated: “Violence in
any form—physical, sexual, psychological or verbal—is sinful; many
times it is a crime as well.”
When I Cry for Help,
USCCB, 2002.
-------------------------------
Domestic
Violence is NOT Rare - studies reveal that 4 million American women
experience a serious assault by an intimate partner annually; and nearly 1
in 3 adult women experience at least one physical assault by a
partner. ------------------------------ ABUSIVE
BEHAVIOR
usually follows this three-phase cycle: (1) Tension building of
anger and frustration leading to blame and verbal abuse towards victims; (2)
Acute battering incident - taking many forms including: verbal
battering, threats, throwing objects and physical violence; (3) Seeming
calm - the batterer expresses remorse, apologizes, promises to behave
or get help, gifts - anything to reassert control.
Family members learn to "walk on eggshells" and live in
fear. This cycle repeats and escalates over time unless help
is sought and found.
---------------------------------------
Must
I forgive? Abusers are quick to pressure victims to forgive and
reconcile. This puts victims at risk again. Offenders in
treatment have made a powerful plea: "Do not forgive us so
easily." Forgiveness is not permission to do the same
again. The moral response is to first stop coercive behavior; only
then can trust be rebuilt.
--------------------------------
Misuse
of the Bible: "As Bishops, we condemn the use of the Bible to
condone abusive behavior. A correct reading of the Scriptures leads
people to a relationship based on mutuality and love." When
I Cry for Help,
USCCB 2002. Commonly misused passages: "Turn the
other cheek" "Forgive seventy times seven
times" "Wives be submissive to your husbands." God
does not want you to live in fear! ------------------------------ Most
victims of domestic violence are women, but men are victims too. You
may be a victim if you: are frightened of your partner's temper;
have been hit, kicked, shoved; verbally attacked or threatened; find
yourself apologizing to yourself or others for your partner's behavior
when you are treated badly. Most
abusive batterers or offenders are men, but some are women. You
may be an batterer/offender if you: are very jealous; have an
explosive temper; criticize, blame and put down your partner; control your
partner's behavior, money and decisions; have threatened your partner,
thrown things, shoved, hit or kicked your partner when angry. Call
for help. Help is available. HOTLINE
PHONE NUMBERS
Help
is available for families living in fear.
For help call a Domestic Violence county hotline:
Ashland: 419-774-5840
Cuyahoga: 216-631-2275
Geauga: 440-285-5665
Lake: 440-953-8255
Elyria:
440-323-3400
Lorain: 440-244-1853
Medina: 330-723-3900
Summit: 330-374-1111
Wayne: 330-264-9029.
--------------------------------
PRAYERS
& INTERCESSIONS
January For an end to fear, threats, coercion, and
violence in families. Let us pray to the Lord. February
That married couples trapped in a fearful cycle of anger, threats or
violence will seek and be able to find help, Let us pray to the Lord.
March
For families who are controlled or isolated by self-righteous
anger, violence or intimidation, that they seek help and find it.
Let us pray to the Lord.
April
That parents will courageously not
tolerate any violence in their homes, we pray to the Lord.
May That
families afflicted with fear from abusive or coercive behavior may find
help for the abuser and the abused, we pray to the Lord. June
Today,
on this Father’s Day, we pray that all fathers and stepfathers might be
instruments of God’s love and discipline but never violent nor coercive
in their behavior, We pray to
the Lord. July
For
grace to respond with patience and wisdom to an angry child or sulking
spouse, we pray to the Lord. August
That
a spirit of humble service replace selfishness, pride or control contests
in marriage relationships, we pray to the Lord. September
That families divided by violence or fear of violence may find a haven
of help in our parish, we pray to the Lord. October
That victims of domestic violence and their abusers may break their
silence, cry out to God and find help from caring and wise people, we pray
to the Lord. November
That remorse after hurting a family member will move us to not only
apologize but to get help for ourselves that we not cause hurt again, we
pray to the Lord. December
That God give gifts of hope, joy and real help to anyone
feeling hopeless or trapped by their family situation, we pray
to the Lord.
WHAT
IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Domestic violence is abuse one person
uses to maintain power and control over another in a relationship. Abuse
can include physical harm, sexual demands, insults, threats, isolation,
emotional control and financial control.
.WHO
IS AT RISK OF BEING A VICTIM?
Risk factors
- Being female is the best single
predictor for who is at risk for abuse; 95% of domestic violence
crimes are against women
- History of domestic violence in
family
- Juvenile history of abusing,
witnessing, or as a victim of abuse
.WHAT
ARE THE SIGNS OF ABUSE?
Battering is not about anger or losing
control. Battering is an intentional choice focused on maintaining power
and control in a relationship. Batterers go to extraordinary lengths to
maintain control even after separation.
Domestic violence is
repetitive and battering is rarely an isolated incident. It begins with
insults, name calling and blaming then can escalate to more intense
efforts to control money, friends, destroy property, harm pets or upping
the ante with physical attacks.
-
About 1 in 5 women victimized by
their spouse or ex-spouse reported that they had been a victim of a
series of at least three assaults in the previous 6 months
(Department of Justice, National Crime Victimization Survey, 1993)
-
40% of women hospitalized for
domestic violence had previously required medical care for abuse.
(Women Take Back the Night, 2000)
.WHAT
CAN A VICTIM DO?
Every individual in an abusive
relationship needs a safety plan. Leaving an abuser can heighten the
danger. Separation can be a more vulnerable time for individuals trying to
leave a violent partner. Three-fourths of domestic violence assaults
occurred when a victim tried to separate from the batterer. Share these
safety tips with someone you may know is being abused:
-
Prepare a safety plan
and have a survival kit ready: cash, clothes, keys, birth
certificates, medications, checkbooks, credit cards, address books.
|
